Clair de "Looney"

About 3 or 4 years ago, my cousin Rozie told me that she had found a hand-written note in my Gramma D's house that said "I want Michonne to play Clair de Lune at my funeral."  Gramma was always doing stuff like that; she told us stuff that she wanted at her funeral, she put little post-it notes on items in her house saying whom it was bequeathed to upon her death, etc.  She had done these things for years, so I didn't think too much about the note and of course I figured I had plenty of time to learn Clair de Lune.  I was familiar with the tune, mostly from movies like Oceans 11, but I had never played it before.

I found a copy of it online and printed it out and then sat down at the piano to try to sight-read it.  I then crapped my pants.  It was, by far, harder than anything that I've ever played in my life.  I used to be a decent pianist, but since stopping piano lessons at age 17, it's been kind of a "use it or lose it" thing with my piano talent.  I've not used it much, so I've lost a lot of talent.  Anyway, I began learning the song page by page and made some progress.  But eventually I was tired of it and Gramma was still really healthy so I gradually stopped practicing.

Last Saturday night after what I knew would be my last visit with Gramma, I knew I better break out the sheet music again and get to work.  I practiced a lot on Sunday and felt pretty discouraged; there was no way that I could get it ready in time.  I knew the funeral was today which gave me 4 days to practice.  Bryan left for a trip to Ohio on Monday morning and I got to work.  Poor Miles and Tess heard that song so many times that they probably know it by heart.  I was going a little bit looney as well.  But, it was slowly coming along.  I had to modify some of the song to fit my skill level (like I completely cut out a section in the middle because it was just excruciating) and there were many chords with 3 or 4 notes in each hand and I opted to just play 1, or maybe 2.  But, it was sounding pretty good.  And then...

I googled Clair de Lune and found this clip on YouTube.  After listening to this incredibly talented person knock the song out of the park I was ready to give up.  There was no way I could ever play it like that.

Eventually I decided that my sweet Gramma D wouldn't care, and that it was the thought that counted.  So, I just did my best and kept practicing.  When performing for a group I always get nervous and my hands get shaky.  Not good for a piano solo.  I was very afraid that during the actual performance I'd get shaky, make big mistakes, and then just not be able to recover.  But today at the funeral the opening hymn was "Lord, I Would Follow Thee" and in the first verse there is a line that says "finding strength beyond my own."  When I sang those words I had a great feeling; I decided that if the song was going to sound OK, I would have to lean upon someone else's strength.  I knew my Gramma and my mom would be listening to this song and that they would give me the strength to stay calm.  And guess what?  It went great!  Of course the song wasn't absolutely perfect, and it didn't sound quite like the YouTube clip, but it was probably the best I have ever played it, ever. 

The rest of the funeral was beautiful as well.  The speakers all did a great job, and the grandchildren and great-grandchildren performed a song together that went well too.  It was a wonderful service and a great celebration of my gramma's life.

So, even though I was "clair de looney" this week, it was worth it and I hope my Gramma D enjoyed it.  Love you Gramma!

Gramma D

I just got a call from my sis to tell me that my sweet Gramma D passed away this morning around 2:00 am.  While it's not a surprise, it's still a shock to my heart.  She has been in nursing care for about 3 years now, 2+ years of that with Alzheimers disease.  She got a bad infection this week and the doctors said that it would be hard for her body to fight it, and that we might want to say our goodbyes.  Even as late as Thursday and Friday during visits with my sister and dad, she was more or less "normal," which means she was alert and talking, although the conversation was confused by the Alzheimers.  So, when I planned to see her on Saturday, I didn't expect to see anything much different than I've seen on the past several visits.  But, when I walked in with my sister and my kiddos, I was really surprised to see how sick she really was.  She was in and out of consciousness during our visit, partly because she had just had a dose of morphine, but I think it was mostly because she was in that place of limbo, her spirit getting ready to leave her body.  She would open her eyes and focus on us for a few seconds, and try to say a few words, and then she'd be asleep again.  I explained to Tess later that I believe her spirit was kind of going back and forth between this world and heaven.  Sweet little Miles piped up and said, "she'll be in heaven with Gramma Kathy, and then they can be together!!"  His little 3-year-old spirit sure understands the Plan of Salvation!

Mel told me that most of the family gathered to Gramma's room last night and said a family prayer together and then they all sat around remembering and telling fun stories about Gramma.  There was a happy feeling in the room, and I'm sure that my Gramma could feel the love all around her.  It was not long after most people left that she passed away.  I'm sure she wanted to wait and go after the fun had stopped.  She was such a fun-loving, funny lady.  She always wore lots of jewelry and cute outfits.  She was so young at heart all her life, loving to laugh and be silly.  I remember my mom telling me that when she (my mom) was in high school, all of her friends would beg my Gramma to take them "dragging Main," and that Gramma was just like one of the girls.  Just a few weeks ago I turned on a DVD we have of old home movies from my mom's family growing up.  There is no sound, just picture, but it's still so fun to see the love in the family; my gramma was always kissing someone.  Everyone in the family knows about having to wipe off Gramma's bright lipstick from our cheeks after a big smooch.

I love her a lot. I'll miss her a lot. But I know that she's so very happy at this moment, with her sweetheart Andy, and her beautiful daughter Kathy, and her parents and siblings and grandson and friends who've gone before her. What a joyous reunion in Heaven today.

"Mom, Help!"

This morning I was in the kids' bathroom, fixing Tess's hair for school.  Miles was finishing breakfast and I heard him drag the bar stool over to the kitchen sink to wash his hands off.  (I try to encourage him to use the bathroom sink, because it's shorter and there's a stool always there, at the ready...but lately he really likes to wash off in the kitchen sink.)  Anyway, I heard a thud and I could tell that he had knocked the stool over.  I figured he'd just pick it up and then come in his room to get dressed, but I heard a "Mom, help!"  I told him to hold on, because I was right in the middle of a braid.  Again, he yelled "mom, help! ...I'm stuck!" 

I came into the kitchen and had my good laugh for the day: